I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
