D3 body, D1 cock
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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