Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
