i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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