I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
