And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
This house was built for laser tag.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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