I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My ATM looks so different sober.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
