John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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