I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
