I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
