i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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