Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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