You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you didnt know i had herpes?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
