I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
