I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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