Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
