So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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