Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
