NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
