Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
