shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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