i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
