Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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