Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
