K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
