Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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