theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Terrible idea I love it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
