the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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