I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
