some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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