I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
