It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
