just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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