Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Oh god it's open bar.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
