Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
