my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
