Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
