'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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