You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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