I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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