my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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