i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
