guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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