evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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