you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
