Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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