If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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