Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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