What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We talked him into tasing himself.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
True strength comes from lack of pants
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
