She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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