I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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