i jhust puked up my retainher.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
