i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
