we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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